I Just Bought $50 worth of Embroidery Yarn

Have you ever bought something you don’t need because you felt obligation to the sales person? They spent so much time, and were so helpful. You don’t even know who they are and you make the purchase because you felt like you should. Maybe it’s even a friend who has home party showing Tupperware or make-up. How about the time you changed your opinion to match that of a fiery co-worker, or entire gaggle of opinionated friends or associates, only to walk away wondering why you didn’t stick up for your own beliefs? In any given situation one can either influence, or be influenced. You tell me.

I spent years and years being influenced. Through school, I took on beliefs, philosophies, political views, and even religious doctrines, of others without thoroughly educating myself on why I believed what I believed.

We all are influenced to some extent simply because we educate ourselves, by reading other people’s works, listening to teachers and professors, and parents. But at one point I became aware that I was influenced way more than I was influencing. I even noticed that I took on the mannerisms of people around me, the favorite buzz-word, the hair smoothing gesture, that particular vocal inflection, or even a stylized giggle!

Our life is an amalgamation of everything we absorb around us. Our styles reflect each tidbit we pick-up along life’s pathway. Even though we all search for our individuality, the things that make us unique, distinctive, and memorable, we still are a sum of all that has stimulated us throughout our lives. There is no escape. Many influences are healthy and good, but it is important to also become the energizer or motivator and not just the seduced and led. One can break the cycle and take a quantum leap into the revolutionary role of being the leader.

The highly successful leaders of the world are known as influencing everything around them. Anyone can revolutionize things around them. Being a leader hinges on several characteristics. The Bible gives a run-down of some of those when speaking of leadership in the church (1 Tim 3:1-7).

1. Be above reproach - Have credibility and integrity in all areas

2. Temperate - self-disciplined, controlled. Life should not be out of control, or full of chaos, negative or obsessive behavior patterns.

3. Hospitable – Be able to create a warm environment where your relationships can be for relationships can grow and be meaningful in the positive sense. Being a part of an “inner crowd” or clique does not create this hospitable atmosphere, rather an exclusivist one.

4. Be gentle & not quarrelsome - gentle with words, a controlled use of the tongue

5. Sensible – be levelheaded and wise. But don’t let your definition of being logical or sensible turn into an attitude that keeps you from stepping out and embracing new things.

6. Respectable – be decent and gain the respect of those around you.

A few additional characteristics I’ve noted by examining other highly successful influencers around me:

1. Confident – one of strong belief; having no uncertainty. In other words, full of faith; or what I imagine the word faithfull to mean.

2. Knowledgeable – continuing to expand their knowledge. They know what they know and yet are able to say when they don’t know. They rely on others around them for expertise they don’t have. They are ever-reaching to better themselves by expanding their knowledge.

3. Visionaries – having keen foresight; they think long-term and fashion their lives around the future, and letting each day be filled with things that will enable that future.

Now there are many influential people who do not have these characteristics. Their only followers are those whom they can intimidate, so they take great pains to surround themselves with those types of people. A good example is this behavior is with gangs, and with bullies. Their work is done through intimidation, dominance. Much of the time these sorts have great charisma that adds to the attraction for their followers. But that’s not the kind of influencing I would encourage anyone to embrace. One is a godly way to inspire others; the other is an ungodly manipulative, bullying style.

What do you believe? Are you an encourager or are you someone who actual de-motivates the ideas and hopes of those around you?

Here are some examples of negative “influencers:”

• Parents – did your parents (or even friends) ever dash your hopes for an idea you had? Maybe you wanted to go to school to be a doctor or lawyer or start your own business. Did someone say to “You can’t do that,” or did you hear the “you’re too stupid,” or “you don’t have what it takes to do that.” Maybe it was a simple “we can’t afford that” without giving or even examining the alternatives that might be available.

• Spouses – have you had a spouse that was too fearful to let you branch out and express yourself in a new manner? Maybe you wanted to go back to school, or start a small business, or hobby. Did you get shut-down?

• Teachers – “You’re not bright enough,” or “You should look at something less demanding for a career.”

• Friends – The teenage years are full of angst and problems as kids learn how to deal with peer pressure and how to socialize in a very inhospitable world. If you don't wear the right clothes, listen to the right music, or party with the right people, then you don't measure up. Kids learn to measure each other up and discard anyone not fitting in. Sad, but with a huge impact on all, though particularly on those tossed to the outskirts of teenage society.

• Yourself – Your “self-talk” is probably the most powerful influencer of all. Do you let yourself think that you can do whatever you put your mind to, or do you always find reasons why you can’t, or shouldn’t?

A Godly motivator will encourage those around them to acts of faith. They will influence people to good works, faithfulness, righteousness, and Godly behavior. Prayers will be full of God’s promises, blessings and faith. (Other people may use prayer as a tool to pass judgment.)

Do you pressure people out of intimidation and bullying instead of using the Godly characteristics spoken of in Timothy? Do your interactions with others bring pain, hurt, and offense to others? Are you limiting someone in a destiny that God has mapped out for him or her by speaking things that are not encouraging and of God’s word? Or are you seasoning your talk with mercy, grace, faith, and encouragement? Are you speaking life into yourself and others?

More importantly is the maturing of our leadership qualities and abilities. I want to lead and not be led; influence more and yet influenced by the right things and people.

Diet Diary - Day 1

Beginning O' Summer

Today is beautiful and slated to be too hot for me to be expected to do stinkin' yard work the day I get the rest of my front flower beds done! It's only 10:45 a.m. and I've already been up and at it since 6:00 a.m. because it sounded like I was sleeping next to a chainsaw I awoke full of energy. I went grocery shopping, put them away, purchased the rest of my plants, cleared the front flower bed, added more topsoil, and am now thinking of bailing out here taking a short break before I finish planting. All-in-all, I've done more than a human should do in one morning a good bit of work so far.

We're supposed to get up into the low 80's today, which has me screaming for an air conditioner is not typical for this time of year. Tonight I'm hosting my kids and their spouses for our monthly Family Night where we all argue about what games to play have fun playing games and eating my food. We'll BBQ tonight I hope I don't burn it. Yumm-Oh!

OMG! I just scared myself spitless looked in the mirror and saw what I looked like. I have dirt sticking to my face, upper arms, and chest area. I look stupid very dirty indeed! However, I'll wait until I finish my planting and then go abandon James & let him clean up my yard mess clean up and then probably take a much-needed rest. I deserve it since he woke me up so early with his nasal chorus!

Happy June 2!

I love Gadgets

I've decided that I'm a techno-geek. I love gadgets. I seem to upgrade my digital camera every two years, then there's the ubiquitous cell phone step up at the end of every contract (unless one sends it down a nearby toilet - see earlier blog on this subject), Bluetooth headsets, VOIP phones, fax machines, printers, scanners, iPods, Xbox, pedometers, label makers,guitar tuners, among many other things. Now, I have an internet headphone and web cam. My office outlets remind me of the little charcoal snakes we used to buy for the Fourth of July where one little black pellet can spew out these thin spiral serpents. Well, I have so many gadgets that need their regular infusion of life support that every single outlet in my office seems to be extruding these snakes.

Now I'm thinking my camera, bordering on two years old, may be due for my donation pile. I bought it about two years ago, and though I actually really like its features, I've been dismayed at the growing number of aftifacts rendered on the pictures; mostly those in moderate to low light. That will never do. I've really taken to photography and with travel being in my long-term plan, I really have to make sure my camera is taking top notch photos.

My son is telling me I should also get a Zune as well as the new Xbox 360l both being Microsoft products of course. But I think about my iPod. That thing cost me 3 months worth of Ricky's laundry to buy it off of him (I think I paid too much). I also have probably close to 1500 songs, of which probably 200 are iTune only compatible. I'd have to figure out a way to convert them to the standard MP3 (which I should do anyway). About the Xbox 360...it's only a matter of time. I'm running out of games I like for the old Xbox. I keep getting used ones from Game Stop and have about finished any of the ones that were of any interest for me. I bought two more to play while James was gone this weekend and ended up turning them off out of boredome. Ah well...you'd think I'd find some other way to entertain myself.

What would it do without the Internet? I wouldn't be able to work from home, nor would I be able to search for the nearest RadioShack location or prepare for my next trip. I am to actually speaking to make computer right now and it is typing my blog. How cool is that? I do wish that it would do my dishes too. Maybe someday.

I've also been looking at house plans online. Tour hope is is to find some land sometime here in the next couple of months so that we can build a house after we sell this one. Our goal is to find two lots close to each other so we can build right next to Linda and Rod. There's so many house plans online that we have narrowed down to the type of plan we prefer. It's amazing what you can find online.

So between the Internet, gadgets, in my computer listening to me and typing whatever I say, things are sure getting more and more space age every day. I love it.

Just Checking In

I have a day off!! Normally every-other-Fridays I watch my two nieces (almost 4 and 6 months); but today they are enjoying the thrills of Sea World and all things cool in San Diego with their parents and Grandma. So I am footloose and fancy free.

So, what to do? James and I have tickets for Celtic Woman tonight in Portland, so we'll leave sometime here to head down that way. But before we go I still have time for....? Hard to choose because I have so many things begging for my attention. Things like:

- Painting my toenails
- Updating my blog (hah!)
- Send email out to family about Alison's upcoming birthday
- Prepare a sympathy card for my mom - her sister died and the service is Saturday
- Write another Mother's Day card for my mom (even though I already gave her one with her present last week; the family is seeing her on Sunday at Amber's Dance and I'd like to hand her something).
- Find out if the property we like in Federal Way is sub-dividable.
- Stop at Walmart for more puppy pads and quick dry red nail polish for my toes

Then there's what to do about a package that is due to come to me today. Do we stick around until UPS gets it to us, thus probably impinging on our joyful outing to Portland? Or do I let it sit and see if I can get someone to come get it and put it in the house so it won't get stolen?

Ah the choices...I think I'll try to do them all!