Money Laundering

James and I went to a far flung casino last weekend; a small one there on the water in Anacortes. I hate carrying a purse around there, fearful that it might get nabbed or I might leave it behind, so I put my ID, cell phone, and cash into my coat pocket. After a short time of playing tables and slots I get too warm and tie my lightweight jacket around my waist (which James won for free in Marysville on the way up there. He spun some wheel at the local Washington Mutual bank and got the grand prize - this nice buttery colored windbreaker in my size).

Of course I have to go to the bathroom at some point and I head off to the ladies room. It was very nice, beautiful color scheme, artfully placed custom tile work, auto-sensory water faucets and hand towel machines and the like. Very nice in all. After leaving my share of liquid in the receptacle, I moved to rise from my sitting position; plunk! All my cash, ID, players card, and cell phone slid easily out of my coat pocket plopped right into the toilet. I froze, knowing that the toilet would automatically flush the minute I moved away from the toilet. What are my options? To reach or not to reach, that was the big question. Do I let 'em all flush? Do I want to lose the over $100 in cash and a cell phone? (Who cares about the ID, that is easier to replace.) I make my decision and quickly whip around, pants still around my ankles, and fish out the bundle, barely making the grab as the toilet began to flush. I think a dollar or two actually got sucked down even. But I did rescue the phone and a bulk of my money and my ID and players card.

I spent the next 20 minutes washing every bill, every card and carefully wiping down the cell phone. I'd have to deal with that one later. Once my money was clean again (though very wet). I immediately went and stuffed it into a ticket machine and traded it in for a slot ticket. I then went and cashed in my slot ticket. I laundered my money!!!! Cool. However, the cell phone was another problem. I managed to find a basket of hand wipes near the bar for player's use. I grabbed a couple and thankfully noticed they were antiseptic. Nice. I sat down and wiped down every nook and cranny of my phone, even emoving the battery. I kept the now cleaned phone off and in pieces in my pocket.

When we got back to our room later that night I put the phone, open and without the battery, and on the heat register. My hope was that it would help dry out the innards. It really was only in the toilet for a few short seconds before I fished it out. Surely it would be o.k.

Not. Even after a few alternate methods of heating the phone up to try and dry out components, it still doesn't work right. Oh it turns on o.k., but it keeps beeping, turning the speakerphone on and off and on and off, and it won't let me call or receive calls. I think it is pissed at me (hah!).


So there's the saga of the phone.