Things That Bug Me

Have you ever had a moment where you've paused to try to figure something out and try as you might, your brain can't really wrap itself around the dilemma? If you don't understand what I'm talking about, I'll be happy to start that process for you and help you become (queue strange music here) ....one of us!

1. The 18 Hour Bra - what happens after 18 hours? Does the bra wilt or wither away? Is it Cinderella-like and give up and let the wearer's mammaries sag at the stroke of the clock? I also want to know if it is a sudden failure of the garment or if it slowly loses its support structure over the last few hours. If you wear it only 12 hours, is it only good for another 6 on the second wearing?

2. Speaking of undergarments, one can't forget the invention of the underwire bra. It should take a page from the time release wearability of the 18 hour bra and wait at 12 to 14 hours before becoming painful. Alas no, after only a few hours my poor rib cage is dying from having their hard, curved platelets digging in. God forbid that you have bad posture. Upon removal at night there are two red smiley faces proudly showing they've done their part to support womankind. Yuck!

3. Knee High Nylons - does anyone buy these anymore? Oh yeah, I forgot. I just saw someone wearing them a few weeks ago; and they were wearing a above-the-knee dress! The ensemble consisted of a patterned blouse (paisley, or polka dots or similar) and a smart tartan plaid skirt that fell to an inch or two above the knees. You already know what the stockings were: knee highs. I wish I had my camera with me. It would have been priceless.

4. Opening a brand new toilet paper roll. Ok, let me set the stage for you. It's the middle of the night and you have to use "the facilities" (somehow we all know what that means). Usually I'm staggering in the general direction of "the facility" because basically I'm still sleeping. I'm still in the dark mind you, as I don't want to wake anyone up (namely me). I sit (yes, I'm a girl), do my tinkle, stare around for a few seconds trying to remember why I'm there, and then finally reach for the TP. It's empty. Drat! So I grab a new roll and try to find the edge. It is nowhere to be found. I pick at it with my fingernails and eventually revert to a full fledged clawing to try to tear away some of the paper. Finally I give up and grab some kleenex. To heck with the TP. Maybe tomorrow.

5. Tear out mailers in magazines - I truly hate those. I have a couple of subscriptions: Really Good Homes and Spectacular Gardens, Taste My Cooking, National Pictureiphic, and a few more. So, I grab a cup of warm brew and find a cozy spot to indulge. The mag immediately plops open to a page with tear outs begging me to subscribe to...this very same magazine! They are embedded in every other page! There are postage paid tear outs for magazines, for calendars, for Franklin Mint dolls or plates, for real gold coins, you name it. I've gotten so that I immediately hunt down all the tear outs and dispose of them first thing. I hate 'em. One time I ripped them all out, and without filling in a single line of the forms, I dropped them into the local blue post box. Hah! That'll teach them to waste my time. Strangely enough, they didn't learn. They're still there.

Now don't get me wrong, I don't get bugged easily. I tend to just raise my eyebrows and move on. But some things warrant some questioning and these are just a few of those things. I'm sure you can come up with several yourself.

Do share.