Has Anyone Seen James?

As many of you know, I travel to Long Beach California frequently for business. My last trip was the last week in October. I returned on a Thursday evening dog tired from a very hectic work week. My son picked me up at the airport and whisked me down to the house in Sumner which had just closed. The plan was to move in 8 days later on November 7th. We showed the kids the house, wandered the rooms and plotted out the cleaning, painting, and re-carpeting schedule that would get the house move-in ready.

James and I made it home around 8:30 that night and both of us were hungry and tired and still had to pack for our trip to Oklahoma City the next day. I slumped down in the dining room chair and just stared into the kitchen. James massaged my shoulders and then asked me if he could make me some dinner.

Now the should massage is a common occurrence, but the suggestion that James cook anything is not (unless it is Thanksgiving or Christmas and it is his famous garlic mashed potatoes). I stared at him for a second and then decided I'd better ask what he had in mind. James has been known to make hot cereal or scramble an egg once in a while.

"I'm thinking I'll cook some vegetables." He says.

I assume he's pulling out a bag of Tyson or Birdseye frozen vegetable concoction, so I ask "What do you mean?"

He answered by opening the refrigerator and pulling out fresh broccoli, cauliflower, carrots, and small red potatoes, and then the chopping block and a big sharp knife.

After scooping up my jaw from the floor, I just sat and stared at the phenomenon. First he asks to cook for me, then he starts cooking vegetables? My mind is whirling and I ask, "What's going on here?"

He proceeds to tell me that he's eaten steamed vegetables every night that week and he's been journaling his food intake keeping his calorie count to an average of about 1300 calories! He'd even lost a few pounds.

OK, so at this point I'm thinking that aliens came and are using James as a host body. Kind of like an "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" thing. Clearly he doesn't know my ice-cream-eating, fast-food-junkie James. Nor does he realize James doesn't pay attention, much less journal, his food intake. I'm thinking this is alien is vegetarian AND writing a documentary.

So now about two weeks later, we're still into all things vegetables: soups, steamed, stir-fried, and raw. He weighs everyday and is frustrated when he doesn't lose and celebrating every loss.

Has anyone seen MY James lately?